Sunday, August 13, 2017

Interesting conversations 8/13/17 (Sun)

I had a conversation with a neighbor yesterday - the same neighbor we went out with Friday night. We were talking about drinking and the fact that I wasn't.

My neighbor said, "I think you are jut overthinking everything.  I'm about 10 years older than you. You'll see - it changes when you retire. I know you are a teacher and you care about what everyone thinks about you, but wait until you retire.  Ya, I am an alcoholic.  I drink 4-5 beers every single day.  I like to drink and am not going to stop. I won;t be happy if I don't drink. I would rather die at 65 after having an enjoyable retirement (aka drinking) than live to be 85 and not even enjoy my life (aka be sober).  So what that I drink. I like it and I choose to keep doing it even if I die earlier."

That comment just blew me away.  I just thought that anyone willing to admit that they are an alcoholic would not like that about themselves and wan to stop drinking. Not only does my neighbor admit it, he chooses it.  I have to admit, the reason I was so fascinated by what he said was that in some sort of way, it sounded good to me. To be able to just drink what I wanted, when I wanted and not feel guilty or obsess and just be fine with it - there is a sort of enticement to the thought of that - just to say screw it and be a drinker and like it.

So I come back to my house and tell my ds and dh what he said, probably bc it is still just confusing/fascinating me.  My husband said, "That's just his way of justifying how much he is drinking. I bet he doesn't really like it as much as he says he does."

My son said, "Ya he likes it until his liver is failing or he gets a DUI. We will see how much he likes it then."

Ok - those two comments brought me back to reality.  There is no way in hell I could just be a drinker like that and be ok with it.

On another note, another neighbor/drinking buddy of mine who also struggles with alcohol, had a bad hangover when I was about 2 weeks sober and said she was going to try sobriety with me.  She was successful for about 3 weeks and then made up some excuse about why she needed to drink (something about promising her daughter she would take her out for shots before she went back to college) and she did. She felt really good about her three weeks and said she was really going to do better about not drinking daily (she is more of a daily drinker where I was more of a weekend binge drinker).  She sent me a text yesterday, "Last night went south.  I went on an alcohol binge. I can't remember the last time I was this sick. Do you think I need a reminder of how it is really poison? This was definitely one of the worst! And then pissed off about a wasted day!"  Then, about 4 hours later she texts, "Such a crazy thing. And as soon as you start feeling better, you start thinking about a drink. Or worse yet, you think one right away might make you feel better. Total insanity."

Funny that in one day I hear both of these messages about alcohol.  First, the sound of drinking and not caring sounds kinda good and then I am reminded of how unhappy alcohol made me for so long.

I am glad I am sober :)


  1. Life goes by so fast, I am so happy I made the decision to stop drinking, so I can see it and remember it for awhile!

    1. I am thankful I haven't waited any longer than I did.

  2. This is crazy KS - I just wrote kind of, sort of about this today.

    This makes me mad and laugh at the same time. Mad because like you husband says you only get the one side of the story and it is like a justification. but laugh also as my parents are like this (but without the term alcoholic) they just don't care.

    Perhaps when we have pressures in our life like you neighbour says then maybe it's a different ball game, but the truth is, for your life, for my life, for many lives - we have stuff going on so it just doesn't work drinking.

    Also your neighbour may be emotionally wired completely differently - I think that changes everything. How can we look at someone else's drinking and equate it to us - that would mean everyone is affected by the same medication in EXACTLY the same way - that never happens with drugs, a scientific impossibility - so why do we pretend it happens with alcohol.

    Good on you for posting this and making me think xxx
    Michelle :)

    1. I am constantly blown away by the complete insanity of addiction!