Believe it or not the sneaky little voice is whispering at me, not very convincingly but still... I thought I better make it clear to myself why I am not drinking before my addiction starts screaming at me. I think I will write a little letter to myself to read when it is difficult. Here goes:
Dear Me,
You may be contemplating drinking or really wanting one. I am going to remind you why you that it not a good idea. Here is why:
1. You don't need a powerful, addictive drug in your body to have a good time.
2. You have been binge drinking for 25 years on the weekends. That can not be good for your body.
3. You have been really trying to moderate for the last 10 years which has not proven very successful.
4. You are tired of drinking on Fri and Sat, hungover Sun, Mon and Tues (swearing next weekend would be different), feeling better Wed and Thurs looking forward to drinking. This has been your pattern for 10 YEARS!
5. The last hangover was terrible. 5 days long and physically scary. So you want your children to find you lying on the floor? That will eventually happen.
6. Do you really need for something bad to happen before you wake up and realize you are not a "normal" drinker?
7. Please, just give yourself a chance to feel how great it can feel to keep your promises to yourself and wake up every day feeling great.
8. Be the role model, the person, the mother, the wife, the friend, the woman you know you can be.
9. You do not have power over alcohol when you drink it. Maybe not today, maybe not next week or even next month, but eventually you will be gulping your drinks, hiding, planning, dreading, consumed with your addiction. It has happened every single time! It will happen again.
10. You do, however, have the ultimate power over alcohol by choosing not to put it in your body.
YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH IT WILL NEVER, EVER GET BETTER...IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE! IT IS ONLY DOWN HILL FROM HERE!
10 years from now, even if nothing bad has happened, you will still be in the same place (if not worse) than you are now wishing you would have quit 10 years ago and not wasted so many years living with this obsession, this addiction, this personal hell, this ..... alcoholism...
boy, that last word was really hard to type.....i think it just gave me an anxiety attack
Are you on Day #6 now? I'm so glad I found your blog today, and that I can cheer you on. I love this quote of yours, and i'm going to save it:
ReplyDelete"... eventually you will be gulping your drinks, hiding, planning, dreading, consumed with your addiction. It has happened every single time! It will happen again."
Especially the part about "every single time!" ... ain't that the truth.
Belle summed up exactly what I was thinking!!!! Carry your letter and post it everywhere if u can!!!!
ReplyDeleteMommaB
Great letter. Good on you. It is a very very very hard addiction to kick, this bloody booze gets it's claws into us and won't let go. But you can kick it off, I know you can, your honesty is refreshing to read, and helpful for me to remind me of that boozy misery I was in. All those hangovers. Yuk. You need to organize some treats for yourself this weekend. What do you really like to eat? read? can you book a beauty treatment for Saturday morning? buy yourself some new clothes on Sunday? new bubble bath for a nice long soak? Little rewards for getting through. Stay strong and take care xxxx
ReplyDeleteThat is a great idea. What would I really like to do that I wouldn't have bc I was drinking? hmmmmmm
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