I thought I would take a minute to catch up. So .... I had 84 sober days .... now I have had 21 moderate days so far. Moderate for me means
1. No drinking on weekdays Mon - Thurs .... check!
2. Rarely drinking on Sunday (only drank on one and I was off two of the Mondays) .... check!
3. Rarely have 3 (haven't had 3 yet) ... check!
4. Only have 1 or 2 ( 2 days with 1 and 5 days with 2) .... check! (I never used to have 1)
5. No hangovers .... check!!!
So far so good. I am liking the fact that I can be satisfied with one. I am trying to really enjoy that one slowly and then get up and do something before I decide if I want one more. Lots of times I don't. It isn't about denying myself - I just really don't. In the past I would just get that second without even a second thought. The only thing that is bothering me a little is 1. I really kind of fought with myself about having a second last Sunday and I gave in. Didn't like that feeling. I wasn't breaking any of my rules and only had two, but I didn't like that struggle that was going on in my head. And .... I don't like that the 1st weekend it was 1, the second weekend it was 3 and the third weekend it was 5 (that was the Sunday weekend). I don't like that the numbers are increasing. I am just trying to be super honest with myself and really watch what is happening. I do not want to start having hangovers on the weekends again. I am reminding myself that drinking is a privilege that comes with responsibility. I can't stop paying attention.
You are doing great. But what a lot of effort! That bloody booze. I hope the feeling of having the alcoholic drinks are worth the effort you are putting in. Are they? What's it like? Would a ginger beer feel just as good? I'm really enjoying following your journey so thanks for sharing. It's so interesting for m - a person obsessed with booze and sobriety. It'll be good to see if it's actually possible to moderate when you know you've got issues with alcohol. I believe in you, that you'll keep on top and do the right thing. So far so good. Take care! xxx
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