Monday, November 6, 2017
Rough weekend 11/6/17
I have to say that this last weekend was a little rough. I think the fact that I did drink last Saturday just opened up the doors for thoughts about trying to moderate. My "I'm just not drinking.. period... deal with it" wasn't there this weekend. I had a hard time at my sister's house (yes, the same sister as last weekend) on Sunday. Other people were drinking and something as stupid as the fact that I really liked her new wine glasses made me have some bad cravings. I didn't drink but was pretty bummed about it. I was having thoughts of maybe after another month I could try again. My daughter asked me if I was proud of myself for not drinking and my response was, "I guess...whatever...it is what it is." I really missed it last weekend. My dh went to a neighborhood party. I didn't go bc I was just grumpy all weekend and I knew they would be drinking. I really wanted to be there drinking and socializing and having fun. I just kind of felt sorry for myself. I was just down, grumpy, mad, tired. Maybe next weekend will be better. I know that alcohol brings so much suffering into my life that it isn't worth those few hours but it sure felt like it would be. It's so easy to forget the suffering or think that this time will be different. Why do I just forget all of that when a weekend night roles around and I want to drink? It's the voice that caused me to give in . Damn addiction voice!