Thursday, July 30, 2015
Last night a new neighbor was having a party. She invited just a few neighbors and some other friends. Only one neighbor showed up and I felt bad for her so I decided to pop in for just a minute and leave. Three glasses of wine and I am up this morning after only 4 hours of sleep. So what happened? I got there and it was really socially uncomfortable. I didn't know two of the girls and the conversation was awkward. I couldn't wait to be offered a glass of wine. After the first glass, it got easier and more relaxed. No big deal, why can't I just stop at that one or maybe two? Why do I then have this "need" to continue filling my glass - even going so far as to try to keep the conversation/party going so I can continue to drink even when I initially didn't want to drink last night? Why do I then get home and then crack open a beer? I'm not at the party, I should be going to bed, I don't need anymore to drink, but I do it anyway. For me sometimes, it isn't always about how much I drink, but why I continue to drink when I should be done. I have the naltrexone but I am supposed to take it 1 hour before drinking. I made the decision to go 10 minutes before I left. If I drink Friday, I will for sure take the naltrexone and then wait 1 hour. If nothing else, it will delay me by an hour and then I may not even feel like drinking anymore anyway. We will see.