I am really going to try to keep myself under control this weekend. We are going up to the mountains with some friends for the 4th. It will be a quick turn around as dh has to work Friday and Monday. I want to have my cake and eat it to. waaaaa :) I want to enjoy a drink with my friends so I don't feel socially awkward and bored but I also want to moderate and not feel crappy the next day. Back to the exhausting act of planning...water in between, don't before anyone else, make sure I eat, stop at hopefully 3 - for sure 4. If I am going to choose to drink, this is what it is going to have to come with. No more just ignoring it. We will see if all of this effort is worth it...Somewhere way back in the back of my mind - I know it isn't...
On another note...I just went back and read my post from Mother's Day (and could have probably found 25 more similar posts from my blogs's archives) in which I was miserable because of alcohol. That was less then 2 months ago....this is just all so insane to me....
Thank goodness I force myself to write on this blog - the good, the bad and the ugly - it really helps me remember how bad I feel because of alcohol when my own brain seems to completely forget...
See that's the thing that keeps me sober...the thought of going back to all that exhausting thinking and planning and thinking and thinking and thinking! I don't think I could survive it.
ReplyDeleteI hope your weekend was peaceful.
Sherry