Once again, I have to host a family event - my daughter's birthday. One person asked, "Should we bring some wine?" I said, "I don't care. If you want some, you better bring it bc I don't have any." I also have a neighbor friend blowing up my phone to come over and have a beer. They all know I am off for winter break and know that I don't usually pass up an offer - no matter what I am doing. In fact my phone is ringing for the 3rd time right now. I really don't want to go into it all with her right now, so I am just going to tell her I am in the shower. Even though I absolutely do not want to drink right now - I am feeling a little anxiety physically. It is interesting to me that my head is saying no and my body is saying - please. It is usually my brain that I am battling. The physical battle is easier right now. I do feel a little shaky however.
Also, I took the HUGE step last night of telling my sister. She said she already knew and that she was very proud of my for not only seeing it in myself and for having the courage to not only admit ti but to tell her about it. She said she will do whatever I need her to do to support my in my sobriety. She is amazing! I feel very fortunate to have bother her and my husband behind me. She is very concerned about me attending the New Year's Eve party. Her exact words where, "Are you crazy? I don't think that is a very good idea." We are coming up with some alternate plans.
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