Monday, August 11, 2014

Feeling awful

am convinced that alcohol sends in my into a very dark place full of depression and anxiety.  Not just general anxiety, but full blown someone is sitting on my chest/I can't breathe/I am going to have a heart attack/I can't hold it together/I am having a mental breakdown/hot flashes/heart palpitations/chest pain/these weird tingling sensations that just wash over me/I am going to die panic attacks.  These always happen between 1:00 and 4:00 am. I wake up exhausted, confused, sad, ashamed, mentally and physically numb.  

I am actually considering the fact that I might have some sort of mental illness.

Oh and BTW - I didn't drink yesterday bc I felt like crap after 12 consecutive days of drinking between 3 and 8 drinks per day while on vacation usually starting in mid afternoon!  

Day 1 I guess...

2 comments:

  1. Yep..that is what alcohol did to me. Major anxiety and depression. I felt like I was losing my mind. I am 8 days away from celebrating my 2nd year of freedom :) Alcohol no longer effects me at all , because it is no longer in my life at all. I am happy and free. #noregrets

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  2. I remember that place. And between the hours of 1 am and 4 am, forget sleep, I was going to spend them in hell, either that or go down to the fridge and get out the bottle of wine, my favorite delay tactic.

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