Monday, August 11, 2014
I am convinced that alcohol sends in my into a very dark place full of depression and anxiety. Not just general anxiety, but full blown someone is sitting on my chest/I can't breathe/I am going to have a heart attack/I can't hold it together/I am having a mental breakdown/hot flashes/heart palpitations/chest pain/these weird tingling sensations that just wash over me/I am going to die panic attacks. These always happen between 1:00 and 4:00 am. I wake up exhausted, confused, sad, ashamed, mentally and physically numb.
I am actually considering the fact that I might have some sort of mental illness.
Oh and BTW - I didn't drink yesterday bc I felt like crap after 12 consecutive days of drinking between 3 and 8 drinks per day while on vacation usually starting in mid afternoon!
Day 1 I guess...