I was thinking about alcohol cravings. I can honestly say that after I give into that initial craving, I don't really even think I like to drink anymore. Here's how it goes for me:
- I'm going along with my day - everything is normal - no thoughts of alcohol.
- I get home from work - still good - no thoughts.
- One little thing happens - for example this new commercial for box wine that they keep playing at exactly the wrong time every evening on the news channel I watch.
- Because of that one commercial (or whatever the trigger is) a little teeny thought wriggles its way into my mind.
- I do a little mental struggle back and forth about how nice a beer would be, how its been a rough day, how I deserve it, how I can just have one.
- I do this in my head for about 10 minutes, many times almost dismissing the thought, and then I say, "Screw it. I'm having one beer." Its like a teeter totter slowly going back and forth (should I? shouldn't I?) that could easily land on either side for a few minutes. Them my addicted brain takes over and suddenly, forceably slams its side down and before I can recover any balance back, I have cracked open a beer. I can almost hear my brain saying to itself, "Hurry...go get one before you change your mind." That is some crazy talk... Does that make any sense to anyone??? AM I just crazy??
- I get that one beer and for the first few drinks, its good. It satisfies my craving.
- Inevitably, I get another one. I don't know why... I just do. I guess I think," Well I have already had one so what difference does it make." I have been really good at stopping at 2.
For normal drinkers, two beers would be nothing.
For me it is everything.
Here is the part I have been thinking about - after the craving has been satisfied -after those first three drinks of the first beer - I don't like it anymore. I don't like the buzz, I don't like not being clear headed, I don't like feeling distracted and ultra sensitive. I don't like not being able to sleep well. I don't like waking up in the morning a little groggy, my tummy feeling not quite right, not feeling positive and happy, instead feeling a little depressed, tired and down on myself.
Here is what I think I need to focus on:
SAYING NO TO THE CRAVING.......