I am watching Dr. Phil and he said some pretty powerful things to a guest. I wanted to write them down so would remember.
He said, " Do you understand the power of language? I's so powerful!As long as you keep telling yourself this ______ (in my case - why can't I just drink like a normal person, not drinking sucks - it is boring, I won't be the same fun person any more, no one will invite me to stuff because I'm not drinking, I wouldn't want to go even if they did bc I can't drink, I should try again, I am such a failure - I can't moderate or quit, I am a bad role model, why am I so sensitive, I really just don't like people anyway bc everyone is a jerk, what is wrong with me?) you are going to keep feeling like ______ (in my case - depressed, anxious, stressed, sensitive, selfish, hyper, obsessives, exhausted, unmotivated, defeated, demoralized, distracted, angry). When you hit the eject button on all the negative self talk, you need to replace it with something that is more positive."
I have a feeling that if I could replace my negative internal dialogue, my behavior and habits would change.
I need to change my internal dialogue to "I can do this. I can live sober. I can live sober and be happy. I can't drink like a normal person so get used to it. People will still invite me - they probably don't care if I am drinking or not. Even if they do care, I have to do what is best for me and my life and my happiness. I can still be a fun person without the dominating, obnoxious, loud behavior, not drinking is awesome, I can quit, I will be the best role model ever in sobriety. I am a good person who deserves to be happy" so that I can feel "happy, relaxed, proud, positive, rested, focused, calm, physically fit, motivated, at peace."
Good luck with the replacement dialogue. Your old one sounds like mine, and I agree that changing that is a big part of the work that needs doing. (I know I need to!) Sounds like you're getting onto some good stuff here. Hope your weekend goes well. xo
ReplyDeleteYES!!! Change that internal dialogue to focus on what sobriety BRINGS you instead of what you're losing by not drinking. It really does make a HUGE difference.
ReplyDeleteDid you know (according to the book The Secret...who even knows if any of that is true) that the brain doesn't process the word 'no'? So when you say, "I don't want to drink this weekend," all your brain processes is "want to drink this weekend" which is COMPLETELY counterintuitive to what you actually wanted.
Instead, try saying to yourself, "I want to be sober this weekend" or even "I love how I feel sober" or "I want to be hangover free this weekend". You can even say, "Sherry doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about." Cause then your brain will process, "Sherry knows what the fuck she's talking about."
I'm just kidding. You're on the right track and I know you can do this. It's just two days right? Just 48 tiny little hours. Just take them one at a time.
Sherry