Monday, October 5, 2015

history repeats

This was what I wrote on Day 8 3 YEARS AGO!!!  I can't believe three years later I am still dealing with the same BS.

Finally!  I slept well last night and finally woke up feeling good, ready to take on the day.  8 days - it took 8 days since my last binge to finally start feeling better and sleeping!  I think I am now officially physically done with alcohol.  Now it is time to "get my armor on" to take on the mental battle of what is to come!  I need to remember - I can have a relaxing, productive, self preserving, proud, happy weekend.  It may  not be the "fun" that I am used to, but I am not willing to suffer all of the consequences for that kind of "fun."  I need to redefine "fun."

This one was from 4 year ago!!!

This sucks!  I can't get any sleep - night sweats, heart doing summersaults in my chest, rapid heart rate, overwhelming anxious feelings that come and go, feel like my head gets a sudden amount of pressure like is is going to blow up, headaches!!!!!!  When will it stop?  I have not drank for 3 days.  I need some rest!  I didn't even drink that much, for pete's sake - 2,3,4 times a week/2,3,4 drinks usually/5,6,7 drinks 3-4 times a month - and only beer and wine!

Kinda ridiculous I am still dealing with this!  This is exactly why I blog....so I can go back and see how stupid this all is and how much of my energy it is taking up.

1 comment:

  1. Isn't it crazy to go back and read that stuff? There are times I'm actually afraid to go back and read the really old posts. It's a little cringe-worthy.

    But it's smart and you're smart (and brave) for going back through those old posts.

    Sherry

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