I am a 51 year old wife, teacher and mother of 2. I have a 21 year old son and a 25 year old daughter. New intro...I am sober and love it! It isn't always easy but it is always worth it!
Old intro...I am fighting this damn drug called alcohol. I have been a weekend binge drinker for 30 years. I binge 2-3 times a month on a Friday or Saturday, but alcohol kicks my butt every single day of my life. I am sick of it!
But the thing is, you hold the ultimate power. At any minute you can tell it to leave and Shazam, you're no longer a prisoner. So is it really addiction that is holding you prisoner, or yourself?
I'm sorry, k. After I wrote the above, I made myself sit here and remember how long it took me to quit, how much I wanted to, but didn't want to either. How long I kept thinking, "I'll just manage it, so I don't have to give it up." That's the addiction right there, the part that fools you into thinking you can get back control and hang on to the part of drinking you love. That's the lie it tells us every day. "Today, I'll just let myself have 2 or 3 or 4." I let it tell me that every day for 20+ years and I believed it because I wanted to so bad. It was when I finally quit believing that I was able to stop.
STOP APOLOGIZING to me Kary! Lol! I told you - I appreciate your honesty and need to hear the things that you say to me. Don't ever filter yourself when you comment on my bullshit! I have so much respect for you and don't need stuff sugar coated. It is absolutely 100% myself that is letting the addiction control me. I know I have the power in me to stop....I just haven't.
It really does.
ReplyDeleteI have so much more freedom now that I am sober!
xo
Wendy
But the thing is, you hold the ultimate power. At any minute you can tell it to leave and Shazam, you're no longer a prisoner. So is it really addiction that is holding you prisoner, or yourself?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, k. After I wrote the above, I made myself sit here and remember how long it took me to quit, how much I wanted to, but didn't want to either. How long I kept thinking, "I'll just manage it, so I don't have to give it up." That's the addiction right there, the part that fools you into thinking you can get back control and hang on to the part of drinking you love. That's the lie it tells us every day. "Today, I'll just let myself have 2 or 3 or 4." I let it tell me that every day for 20+ years and I believed it because I wanted to so bad. It was when I finally quit believing that I was able to stop.
DeleteSTOP APOLOGIZING to me Kary! Lol! I told you - I appreciate your honesty and need to hear the things that you say to me. Don't ever filter yourself when you comment on my bullshit! I have so much respect for you and don't need stuff sugar coated.
DeleteIt is absolutely 100% myself that is letting the addiction control me. I know I have the power in me to stop....I just haven't.