AHHHHHH!!!!!!

How am I?  I don't know...I had that one beer last weekend and was ok with that (I think).  Then Tuesday night, for no reason at all, I decided to have a beer while cooking dinner.  I really like to cook and I really really like to cook while having a "beverage".  So I did...I thought...no big deal....then I thought....well I am already drinking/already blew it....I might as well have another.  I stopped after 2 but still....I got that whole I feel really lazy, don't want to get off the couch feeling.  I was really tired yesterday and really bitchy today.  That is my pattern when I am withdrawing, but I don't think it could be a physical thing after only 2 beers.  Do you?  I think maybe I am just mad at myself.  I have no idea if I am coming or going....or what I want to do.  I don't want to post on the mm list, because I don't want to belong there anymore...and I don't want to post on the mmabser list  - would feel like a hypocrate ....

I just want to not have to worry about this anymore...have a beer or glass of wine when I want to - keep it at 2 or 3 ALWAYS - only drink 1 - 2 days a week and not worry about it anymore.