Saturday, September 24, 2011

Back to Square One


I absolutely love fall!  I love the coolness in the air, the colors, the smell. I have not posted in a while because I have not had a whole lot of good things to report.  It seems like my drinking has been slowly increasing again. I absed for around 14 days, maybe longer, I can't remember.  It doesn't even matter now, because I am down i the dumps with yet another hangover.  It started with a sip of a beer one weekend, then one beer the next weekend, then one beer on a Wednesday, then one on a Wednesday and Thursday and 3 on a Friday. Then 4 on a Friday and 5 on a Saturday.  now - back to were I am trying to never be again.  Last night was back to my old self.  Hard week - I am just going to have some wine with a friend and relax.  I didn't eat dinner, I didn't drink water.  The first couple of glasses of wine were good, I kept it slow.  I started to feel a little too buzzed and new I would get obliterated with more wine so I switched to beer.  This is were all rationality left.  My BAC was too high and the addiction in my brain took over.  I was just guzzling beer like it was water.  I even finished our friend's beer after he left because I didn't want any one to see me get up and get yet another beer.  Grand total 7 drinks in 6 hours! No dinner! No water! No self esteem today! Please no sympathy.... only I am in control over my choices and I made some bad decision last night.  Now I must pay the price.  

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