It is interesting to me how selfish drinking really is. I am not going to drink this weekend and it changes the way I think about it. When something comes up like taking my nephews to church for my sister or doing something my mom needs done, my thinking shifts. When I know I am going to drink, my thoughts go to, "Well, I am not going to want to sleep in, or what if an impromptu neighborhood party happens, of what if everyone wants to get drinks after work on Friday, or what if is sunny Friday after snowing all week and I want to sit outside with a beer, or I don't want to be responsible for driving." It's not like it's fully conscious thoughts its more of an underlying thought of keeping my options open just in case an opportunity to drink comes up. Its about not making any "non drinking" commitments to anyone just in case. It all is a bit selfish. And stressful. And exhausting.
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