Sunday, May 6, 2012

truth be told....

I really do feel kind of crappy today - exactly 6 weeks after I decided to try again.  I am not hungover per say. I did not drink too much last night - not the obvious headache, dizziness, nausea- but I do feel kind of crappy.  I feel tried, down, unmotivated, disappointed, sleepy, grumpy, don't feel like being around people.  I think I am going to stop denying and say that yes after 6 weeks of moderating pretty well, I do have a hangover today.  The kind of hangover that does not come from one night of over drinking but the kind that comes from your body just being tired of having to process, deal with and remove the toxin from itself every weekend - a sort of exhaustion  - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I just want to go to bed tonight and wake up tomorrow back to my happy self.  That is what I call wasting a day which was my ultimate goal not to do anymore.  I wouldn't not call my path right now successful.


  1. The Sherlock Holmes in me wants to sleuth this out and ask some questions like, "How much is not too much." and say, "It's elementary, my dear, Watson." but I won't. Oops! I guess I just did. Anyway keep trying to figure this out, k, the clues are all there and it really isn't much of a mystery. I think the only mystery to figure out now is why you are so unhappy while you are absing.

  2. to think I spent most of probably 6 or 7 years feeling like you do almost all the time. I think feeling run-down was normal for me...then at 5:00 pm I would pour a glass of wine and perk right up...until later that night and the next morning when I felt bleh and tired again. (I was a daily drinker...then with MM a most-days my liver was more of an endurance runner rather than a sprinter-ha!

    God, I am glad I'm not doing that to myself anymore...

    take care of yourself, K