Saturday, April 7, 2012

Easter Weekend

I thought I would take a minute to catch up.  So .... I had 84 sober days .... now I have had 21 moderate days so far.  Moderate for me means
1.  No drinking on weekdays Mon - Thurs .... check!
2.  Rarely drinking on Sunday (only drank on one and I was off two of the Mondays) .... check!
3.  Rarely have 3 (haven't had 3 yet) ... check!
4.  Only have 1 or 2 ( 2 days with 1 and 5 days with 2) .... check! (I never used to have 1)
5.  No hangovers .... check!!!
So far so good.  I am liking the fact that I can be satisfied with one.  I am trying to really enjoy that one slowly and then get up and do something before I decide if I want one more.  Lots of times I don't.  It isn't about denying myself - I just really don't.  In the past I would just get that second without even a second thought. The only thing that is bothering me a little is 1.  I really kind of fought with myself about having a second last Sunday and I gave in.  Didn't like that  feeling.  I wasn't breaking any of my rules and only had two, but I didn't like that struggle that was going on in my head. And .... I don't like that the 1st weekend it was 1, the second weekend it was 3 and the third weekend it was 5 (that was the Sunday weekend).  I don't like that the numbers are increasing.  I am just trying to be super honest with myself and really watch what is happening.  I do not want to start having hangovers on the weekends again.  I am reminding myself that drinking is a privilege that comes with responsibility.  I can't stop paying attention.

1 comment:

  1. You are doing great. But what a lot of effort! That bloody booze. I hope the feeling of having the alcoholic drinks are worth the effort you are putting in. Are they? What's it like? Would a ginger beer feel just as good? I'm really enjoying following your journey so thanks for sharing. It's so interesting for m - a person obsessed with booze and sobriety. It'll be good to see if it's actually possible to moderate when you know you've got issues with alcohol. I believe in you, that you'll keep on top and do the right thing. So far so good. Take care! xxx