tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4561779952062755742.post6234211503970960811..comments2023-09-29T01:14:31.892-07:00Comments on struggles with alcohol: 1/24/17 (Tues) Hyperactive Dopamine Responseksusierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10343865771089367055noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4561779952062755742.post-31394487280289019882018-08-01T19:31:02.110-07:002018-08-01T19:31:02.110-07:00I know this post is a year and a half old, but I&#...I know this post is a year and a half old, but I'm having a really hard time right now and I just wanted to say that I'm in the same boat. Alcohol was like speed for me. It made me feel happy and social and just blissfully unafraid; all the things I'm not naturally. It made me feel normal, or at least what appeared normal to me. I had energy, felt revitalized, could talk to anyone and the voice in my head telling me I'm pathetic and an embarrassment just stopped for those few hours and I could connect with other people in a way that was unbearably uncomfortable for me sober. But those feelings went away as I entered my late twenties and when I drank I started to become unhinged, dangerously reckless and later on even violent. My last drink was on the night of May 14th 2017 and in those first months it was wonderful. I think they call that the "honeymoon phase" of sobriety. When that ended some months later I realized I don't even know who I am now. Nothing gives me any joy or pleasure. Things I thought I enjoyed or was passionate about either terrify me or ellicit no emotional response whatsoever. I'm afraid to be in public. I have panic attacks if I have to answer a phone at work. I've isolated myself from my friends and my family. And I think the cause is what you described in your post. I've permanently altered my brain in such a way that it just doesn't produce the reward chemicals on its own anymore. At least not enough to stave off the crippling anxiety and depression I'd been hiding from. Nothing excites me. Nothing moves me. I'm just a ghost now. And I don't know what to do or if it'll ever stop.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4561779952062755742.post-79623277280725372522017-02-01T13:45:37.687-08:002017-02-01T13:45:37.687-08:00I hope you are ok.
AnneI hope you are ok.<br />AnneAinsobrietyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15642935819165465190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4561779952062755742.post-19026212799092493482017-01-25T13:23:40.967-08:002017-01-25T13:23:40.967-08:00you sound like me, trying to outhink the situation...you sound like me, trying to outhink the situation... we just can't drink. that's it. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4561779952062755742.post-36662480744428842282017-01-24T08:49:51.296-08:002017-01-24T08:49:51.296-08:00I am with Anne again!
LOL
She writes the best comm...I am with Anne again!<br />LOL<br />She writes the best comments!<br />I was a hyper drinker too.<br />I could clean more, was funnier, and all of that stuff.<br />Until I wasn't.<br />When I got older, body started to be unable to process the alcohol and as you are finding, I was feeling horrible after just 3 drinks.<br />Reading is good, but as Anne said, at some point you just have to stop.<br />I grieved the loss of party Wendy, too.<br />But then I decided to prove to myself I could still have fun sober.<br />And I am!<br />xo<br />Wendy<br />Untipsyteacherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14975521042875808241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4561779952062755742.post-78369345113259321012017-01-24T08:15:55.860-08:002017-01-24T08:15:55.860-08:00Step one is admitting we are powerless over alcoho...Step one is admitting we are powerless over alcohol and our life has become unmanageable.<br /><br />I feel like I "do" step one every day. The way for me to regain my power is to not add alcohol. So I don't. And, as a result, my life is extremely manageable.<br /><br />Somehow it all becomes simpler when we stop the debate and reasoning and searching for answers and just accept that this is it. In the same way I will never eat gluten again because I have celiac disease, I will never drink again.<br /><br />This isn't an easy thing. I mourned the loss of some of my favourite foods and I mourned he loss of party Anne. I expected life to be bland and boring. I was resigned to it.<br /><br />Imagine my surprise when colour returned! Mornings became easier. Life became less complicated. I could see past my own self focus and remembered there was a whole world out there!<br /><br />Joy returned. I hadnt know joy for a long time. A drink or 5 never brought joy. And I know it never will.<br /><br />AnneAinsobrietyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15642935819165465190noreply@blogger.com