Tuesday, July 5, 2016

7/5/16 (Tues) Back with my tail between my legs

It is so difficult to come back to my blog when I have written for days or maybe even weeks about not drinking and then drink.  It just seems so humiliating and embarrassing and hard to deal with.  It is easier to just keep getting through my day without thinking about it - without looking at it.

It hasn't been a complete fail.  I have only drank on the weekends, have taken my naltrexone every time and not overdone it, but I don't feel great.  It just seems that no matter how much I drink, it just kind of dulls my life in general.  I just seem to be more tired, emotional, numb. - and I'm talking about when I am sober.  Does that make sense?  It is hard to explain. I just feel like I get to through my day in some sort of distracted, foggy mode.  Like I just am constantly looking around (not literally) so I don't focus on any one thing so I don't have to focus on the ONE thing that I know I should.

Well, not much else to say.  I feel down, grumpy, tired, blah, unmotivated. I know what I need to do...